Merry Christmas Assholes!

To all the people who have been hitting me over the head with how much you hate Christmas...congratulations! You have officially shit on x-mas long enough that you have actually now ruined mine. Mission accomplished karmic douchebags.

Some of my favourites include:

1. Never ending parade of facebook status msgs
2. http://www.fuckchristmas.org/
3. The constant complaining about being broke while over spending and buying gifts for friends, hair-dressers, letter carriers..... blah blah.

Also, just a quick note to talk radio hosts and newscasters. Next year lets see if we can't at least try to dial down the rhetoric about the 'war on Christmas' or just plain stop hanging on to the so called 'Christian values' that this country was apparently founded on. I neither care to know, nor do I find relevant the dogma of Jacques Cartier.

So thanks assholes. You've actually made me look forward to going back to work. I guess that's something.

Beating Up Five Year Olds...

If you're like me, you've been wondering for years just how many five year olds you could theoretically fight at one time. Now, most kindergartners aren't prone to fits of violence so, thankfully the top computer scientists and statisticians have devised an algorithm to accurately predict the quantity of five year olds you could fight given you physicality and moral disposition. I think the latter is far more indicative.

How did I do?

22

Watch your back five year olds!

Whopper Freakout

Seriously how good are the viral marketing efforts of BK:

THE WHOPPER FREAKOUT!

So smart!