How To Get A Free Pizza :: Vol. 1

Over the years I've become infamous for knowing every way to get a free pizza. Some are straight opportunities plays and some involve bold face lying. Today I open an going series, How To Get A Free Pizza.

This first free pizza angle I ran was when I was 13. To this day it's still my favourite. Was it a crime? Yeah I guess it was... but what it was fun... I was 13, what do you want me to say?"

Operation: Pizza? I Didn't Order No Pizza.
Ideal for: suburban teenagers
No of people: 2

1. Call in an order to the local pizza company to your house. Don't order the pizza you actually want.
2. Moments later using another phone call in an order for a neighbouring house. This time order a pizza you DO want. IMPORTANT: think like a pizza guy, pick an address that will likely make your delivery the first on his route.
3. Position a 'grab man' at the side of your house.
4. The straight man watches TV innocently.
5. When the driver arrives the straight man must not seem too eager to answer. Play it cool.
6. Upon answering the door, seem genuinely confused as to what that person is doing there. I mean YOU didn't order pizza did you? The following script should be adhered to where possible:

"Hi can I help you?"
"ummm... did someone order a pizza?"
(answering a question with question, how rude... he has it coming to him)
"A pizza? No."
"Is this 123 Main st.?"
"yep sure is."
"and no one ordered a pizza?"
"no sir,"

and this important!

"did you want to come in and call the office to check?"
"sure..."

7. Now the grab man strikes. If he's a typical pizza guy, the engine is still running and the doors are open. The grab man covertly takes the pizza waiting in the car and returns to the house via an alternate door. This is important because when the pizza dude sees the pizza is gone. He's gonna search the immediate area. Make yourself gone.

**Now then, the pizza guy is going to come back to your door and give you a serious case of the side eye. So keep the pizza on the DL until the smoke clears.

8. Dig in! Free Pizza.